I broke my iPhone yesterday. I dropped it facedown onto concrete. The glass screen decided to shatter, turning fractal in a very bad way. The phone itself works, but the screen is completely hosed. Cost: 200 for Apple to swap it out. Instead, my significant other is mailing me her old first generation iPhone. I’ll get by. Take a look at my phone, though, before you read on. As children are an effective contraceptive via fear, let that image force you to clutch your iPhone just a bit harder.
It being Saturday, a day off for the world of tech, I figured on writing what they call a “human interest story.” It’s about what happens when you go from having the best phone ever created (disregarding the 3GS), to no cell phone at all. In all seriousness, I have a landline phone sitting on my desk. I kid you not. What happens when you have no phone? You know the feeling when you head to lunch without your phone, that feeling of nakedness. It is akin to that, but much worse. Oh, the humanity.
If people need to get a hold of me, they cannot. I have no email, access to Twitter, texts, or calls when about. But then it gets worse, I do not have mobile music right now, I do have access to my contacts, all the saved data is inaccessible. I do not have a watch, or an alarm clock. Having better phones is great, until the phone no longer works. It’s odd and embarrasing, but I am quite fucked in trouble without my iPhone. Damn you Steve Jobs, I used to live without it, and now I cannot.
No more Stategery when in the car, no more Slayer in my car via an AUX cable, etc. The list goes on. Little did I know that my iPhone had become so central to my life until, crash, it was gone. If I was not a technologist at heart, I would perhaps be embarrassed. This morning I wanted to take a picture of my phone, but damn it my iPhone is my camera. Call someone and complain? Not going to happen, period.
I wish that I could bring myself to admit that it is actually pleasant indeed to get away from the always-connected aspect of our culture, but I would want to Tweet that, which defeats the whole point of saying it. If you have a smartphone, do a little test drive. Put your phone in the drawer for the rest of the day, it’s Saturday so you can do it. Now, go out with some friends. You will reach for your phone at least 10 times before you scream into the air with beer-breath “damn it, why did I do this?”
As T-Pain would say, you have officially been chopped and screwed.
My new old iPhone is incoming in a few days, but until Thursday I am going to be without a phone. If you need me, email is it I suppose. Oh, and as a note to all the brilliant, varied, and distinguished TechGeist readers, my Grandmother just passed away. I will be away until Wednesday attending her funeral. Have a great weekend everyone.
